I'm Still Here
by Booklivesmatter23
Summary: ONESHOT After rescuing Magnus from Valentine, Alec seeks Clary out. He decides that it's time they had a talk.


Alec stalked down the Institute hallway, trying his best to look angry and off-putting but despite his best efforts, he knew he still looked concerned.

After taking Valentine back to the Institute, he was told that Clary had disappeared. He'd already checked her room and she wasn't there. His next destination was the greenhouse. He'd found her there a few times, sketching.

Alec turned right and continued down the hall, Sebastian's words ringing in his head.

_"Tell me what it feels like to have your entire family ripped away from you."_

_"Your mother? She's never coming back." _This one hit Alec particularly hard, he still hadn't fully forgiven himself for killing Jocelyn.

_"Jace is not your brother. You feel all alone in this world. Don't you?"_

_"Your father will never love you. The only reason he wanted you was to use you."_

_"You wanted a brother so badly because at least then you'd have someone to share in the pain."_

_"That empty feeling that eats away at your soul, and makes you feel like you want to die day after day after day, it never stops."_

Alec had tried to stop Sebastian, that's what he told himself. But a part of him felt as though he hadn't tried hard enough. The look on Clary's face, it had made him realize that she wasn't the bad guy here. She never had been.

Alec reached the green house and pushed the old, creaking door open as quietly as he could, which wasn't very. He stepped into the room and looked around, he could see Clary's feet dangling a few feet from him from the level above. He turned to the left and used the set of stairs that would take him to her. Hurriedly ascending the steps, he steeled himself for the conversation that he was sure would be long and painful.

When he got to the next level, he saw that Clary was indeed sketching, but it didn't look like anything you'd find in a greenhouse.

"What are you drawing?" He asked as he approached her.

Clary jumped, apparently she hadn't heard him come in. She turned around and Alec saw that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and tears were still streaming down her cheeks, relentlessly.

"Oh, Clary." He sighed. He sat next to her and loped an arm around her.

_"_It's nothing." She dismissed, shaking her head and bringing a hand up to wipe the tears away. "It's stupid."

_"_Well," Alec reasoned. "It's it's nothing, it can't be stupid. So it must be something."

Clary chuckled. "I guess you're right."

"Is it what Sebastian said? Because I still don't trust that guy. He's an idiot."

"Yeah." Clary sighed. "I guess it just hit me that everything he said is true. I don't have a family anymore. My mom died, Jace isn't my brother, and my father is a psychopath."

"You have a family." Alec argued. "Luke, Jace, Izzy, Magnus. And me. You have a family."

"You don't like me." Clary turned to look at him.

"Well, you never liked me either." Alec said.

"I've always liked you." Clary admitted.

"Oh really?" Alec didn't believe her.

Clary seemed to hesitate on something and then she flipped her sketchbook closed before opening it to the first page. A drawing of Jace. She then began flipping through the pages. Izzy, Magnus, Alec, Jocelyn, Jace, Luke, Izzy and Alec, Church, Simon, Alec, and so on. She did this until she came back to the drawing she had been working on when he came in. It was a halfway finished masterpiece starring him and Magnus.

"Those are amazing." Alec praised her. "Look, Clary. I'm so sorry for how I've treated you these past few months. I never meant to make you believe that I hated you, or that I didn't like you. I don't trust easily. And how you came to be here, how you showed up out of nowhere, your situation. I guess I just didn't trust you. You were too good to be true, you know?"

"Alec." Clary rested a hand on his arm. "I get it. I understand."

"I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm here for you, what Sebastian said wasn't true." He sighed and looked back down at the drawing that Clary had been working on. "I'll kill him for you, you know. If you want. Jace and Iz would help me. Magnus too. Or I can keep it a secret. Whatever works best."

Clary looked up at him ready to laugh when she saw his face. The man was dead serious. "I think I'm good. But thanks. It's good to know I've got options."

"Yeah." He agreed. "You do. Always."

Clary leaned in to his side and continued sketching. She thought that this was a much better way to spend her evening than what she had had planned.


End file.
